Building Yourself Back Up- How Can You Do It?

Keep telling yourself you’ve got no problems and eventually you’ll start to believe it.

How do I know this? I’ve seen it firsthand and I’ve experienced it.

Holding your problems in is kind of like being sick but going in to work anyway. Everyone keeps asking you what’s wrong and wondering if you’re sick, but you keep saying “I’m fine, just some allergies” even though everyone, including you, knows that’s a lie. But how can figure out what’s going on inside?

Well, it’s time to become the world’s greatest detective (and I don’t mean Batman). But here’s the thing: your detective needs to be someone else. Trying to pinpoint your own problem is a huge conflict of interest. We push those problems so deep into our conscience that we forget they’re there.  You need to allow someone else to dig into your past. Uncomfortable? Yes. Necessary? You better believe it.

Many times, we try to HGTV our problems and make our outside look pretty. Paint the outside of the house, lay down some new flooring, install some appliances and presto! Better psyche. But what we fail to realize is that if the foundation is damaged, the whole house is at stake. Many of us have a damaged foundation but pretend it’s not a problem until it becomes a problem. Instead of addressing it, it branches into other areas of our life. Anxiety, depression, anger, fatigue, restlessness, irritability, loss of interest. I could go on for another 2 paragraphs, but the point is got, right? We start looking for ways to push it off and that comes in the form of sidetracking ourselves. We sure we’re so busy so can push it down deep into our subconscious. But what is the problem?

The #1 problem is us. We. You. Me. I. All possessive nouns. Keep hiding from your problems and you won’t have to go looking for your problems. They’ll find you. You don’t realize it but that irritation, that aggression and anger towards any and everything? It’s directly associated with how you’re feeling on the inside. So, what can you do?

See, most of us look to bury that rage instead of addressing that rage and looking to understand it. We tell ourselves “I’m fine, I just need more sleep” or “if this or that happens, I’ll have more time.” Your mental health is of the utmost importance. We’re so busy, so tired and so in a hurry, we’re rushing to cram everything into our week that we forget to take care of the most important thing: ourselves. Tell me, since when did it become unnatural to seek therapy? When did it not become okay to talk about our feelings? Let those feelings out. Let everything out. Find someone you feel comfortable with and tell them “I’m not okay. I need some help.” If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, talk with a therapist. They can help you deal with whatever it is you are going through. You can research and find the right one for you.

Many of have been through so much, it’s destroying who we are on the inside. Death in the families, broken relationships, childhood problems, destroyed marriages, addition, incarceration, abuse (sexually, mentally, verbally, domestically) health problems, debt, depression. We all have problems. We think that no one is going through the same thing but there are 7 billion of us and you can sure there are millions going through what you are going through and have gotten the help they need. We think we can’t do it, but the truth is you can. You can do it. Take small steps on your road to recovery. One brick may not make a road, but the road is already paved for you. You see, there have been others who have been in your place. That brick you have (that special brick) is to be put at the end of your road in order to further it for others.

Just think, there has never been one person who has gotten to where they are at without the help of at least one person. Even the heroes you look up to had heroes to help them. Find your hero and save your own day.

But we do such a good job at burying it, it becomes a Pandora’s box of sorts. It’s time to unearth your pain and face it headstrong. Looking at who you are may be extremely difficult. Seeing your toxic traits brought to the fore is not only necessary but is also critical to our growth. As you do this, you’ll see that your happiness is just around the corner. Keep your blinders on. Other’s happiness has nothing to do with you. They may have been going through their own battle and come out victorious. Focus on yourself. Imagine if everyone decided to put their problems in a bag and put in on a stage for others to pick up. How many bags would you put back down and go back to your own bag?

Take the time to deal with what is really killing you. Being complete and together is better than being a ticking emotional time bomb. Does that mean possibly spending less time on activities and more time on yourself? It’s very possible. Don’t be led astray but the fake lives people lead. People say “I’d rather be depressed in a Ferrari than on a bus” or however that saying goes, but really, why be depressed at all?

It’s okay to find joy in your life. It’s okay to do what you love. It’s okay to be weird too. We’re all fighting battles on the inside, even if most won’t admit it.

Please take the first step in your road to happiness. Tell me how you’re going to do it in the comments and start today. Happiness is trying to grasp your hand. It’s time to help it grow, nurture it and feed it so it can help take care of you.