Grieving and Inner Peace

Hard to find and even harder to keep. Inner peace is about finding gratitude and being thankful for it. Inner peace is the feeling when you breathe in deeply and feel that sense of calm come over you.

Inner peace is what separates open wounds from the closed ones. The emotional trauma we experience sits there and stares back at us with wide eyes begging “please close me.” Every day we choose inner peace and happiness is a step toward understanding ourselves and the emotional trigger points that push us toward reacting in a negative manner.

Those scars whisper in our ears ever so softly reminding us that they’re still here. They remind us that they will never go away and will haunt us for as long as we live.

The anxiety they cause makes it hard for some to breathe. It’s as if they drowning while breathing fresh air. But the air is filled with toxicity. Toxic thoughts, behaviors, emotions, and interactions. Scars heal but their presence remains; the details, visuals, and the voices we hear shake us daily.

I can tell you that I remember every detail, every conversation, every tear, every emotion I experienced. But because I pushed those feelings so deep into my mind, I don’t remember as much as I used to. The feelings we get puts us in difficult and awkward situations because A) you’re trying to heal but B) you’re trying not to think about it, relive it, hear it, see it. Once those feelings are set off, you can’t stop it.

It becomes your fight or flight moment. If you take flight you can always heal at a later time. But, and it’s a large one: you’ve given those feelings time to marinate, fester and rot parts of your personality down to the core. It changes your inner person. Now you have to fight and fight and fight 10x as hard to regain some semblance of inner peace.

However, if you decide to fight those emotions you’ve entered the arena the same time as your feelings. Here’s the difference: because you’ve started training the same time those negative emotions have, you gain the upper hand. You took the time start training your mind early and took the initiative to confront your emotions. You’re going to grow stronger than your emotions can spread that darken the rest of your mind and body.

What does it feel like? It’s like we’re alone and crowded at the same time.  It’s a dread unlike any other. These feelings we have never go away and we have to combat them every single day. We have to catch our second wind so we don’t falter. This is not to say that mistakes are not helpful to growth. On the contrary, it’s one of the building blocks that lead to inner peace and happiness.

When we fail or an emotion triggers a negative reaction, we recognize it, re-evaluate ourselves and act accordingly the next time it happens. Even now, when I fail or lose my inner peace or joy for the day, I take note of it. I journal it. Then I vow to do better next time. I try my hardest every single day.

It tangibly helps me realize I failed and messed up. I tell myself that failure is ok, and I don’t berate myself. I tell myself positive thoughts and look to beat out the negativity that within me.

It’s part of the journey toward healing our open wounds. It’s our tourniquet because it’s going to save your life. It will take years with consistency, but the payoff is undeniable. You’ll see Inner peace, happiness, positive thoughts, gratitude, empathy, kindness. You’ll see yourself in a way you never thought possible. You’ll finding joy and happiness again. You’ll start smiling with actual joy.

Start now. It’s time to put away the “I’m doing okay smile” and put on the “I’m genuinely happy again” personality.

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